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sum_off
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Posted on 09-26-06 9:55
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I will edit this story in my spare time and post it back here. Some editing is required. When I say 'editing', I don't mean grammar. I don't think I know enough grammar to correct my own grammar. It is the context that I intend to edit.
Last edited: 15-Oct-07 10:00 PM
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mansion
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Posted on 09-26-06 10:33
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nice writing, eventhough i am a lil lost, i guess i'll just have to read it again.
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ImI
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Posted on 09-26-06 10:36
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Some small things are good .
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Captain Haddock
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Posted on 09-26-06 10:47
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Fantastic! I am a big fan of dialogue when it comes to story telling on public forums and I thoroughly enjoyed and liked this piece. A poignant ending with a very good build up. Great stuff.
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DukuLanthe
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Posted on 09-26-06 11:03
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??
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ImI
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Posted on 09-26-06 11:05
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Hey Sumoff ..explain this please: the conversation about :woman adopting children and the kicking towers..where is the link with the chracter who dies.. I loved your style though....i was guessing these conversation are linked with the accidents .
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redstone
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Posted on 09-26-06 11:08
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The guy died, he was reminiscing the memories...life flashed infront of his eyes. before he died. aint it?
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mansion
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Posted on 09-26-06 11:20
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ImI
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Posted on 09-26-06 11:32
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Ok got it brothers ... i could not find relationship between the 2 short conversations which i mentioned ..others i could get it!
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Tisa
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Posted on 09-27-06 7:43
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thees_keta
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Posted on 09-27-06 7:44
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a great story indeed. first, i was kinda confused because of different story w/different time period. however, the last part cleared everythin up :). it was a awasom read. ratoooo dhungeeee bruu...wats popping :D
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sum_off
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Posted on 09-27-06 8:41
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Couple of quick corrections… I posted this last night when I was very tired and sleepy… didn’t edit it. I saw a couple of typos. Trust me I know ‘timeout’ is one word. Also, the thread should be titled: “A GHOST OF SMALL THINGS.†I hate when I make mistakes like these. It’s very disrespectful to the readers. I suck.
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meera
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Posted on 09-27-06 9:26
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Enjoyed it thoroughly! Thank you for posting it.
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mickthesick
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Posted on 09-27-06 10:09
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.Hey Sum_off, awesome writing. It reminds me of the movie "Stay" which was released in 2005. If you haven't seen it, do so. You'll be surprised how the ending of the movie is so similar to the ending of your story.
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sndy
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Posted on 09-27-06 10:33
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Hey Sum Off, Nice read as usual. No need to say it anymore I guess. My only comment - stop being so modest. It has started to sound unreal now. I'm sorry but that's how I feel. You know u're good, u know people make mistake. So, quit being and sounding modest !! I am still your biggest fan...and keep coming.
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Cerine
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Posted on 09-27-06 10:46
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Very nice :-) simply loved it
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freak_alien
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Posted on 09-27-06 12:13
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Sum_Off bro yet another brilliant work.... Great Job, absolutely loved it..
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avani
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Posted on 09-27-06 2:51
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a great read indeed.. don't think i could ever do justice to this piece like you have..a bit confusing at first, and i did get lost in the jungle of dialogues..but eventually it all made sense!
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nepalonmymind
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Posted on 09-27-06 3:01
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Reminded me of the movie 'american beauty'. Love that movie. So, he did survive his mom, the failed driving test, drugs, and his own superficiality and turned out all right didn't he? And what wonderful insights we get into who he is now. All he needed was more luck and life. We all have self doubts. If u do then u dont need to. You are brilliant. All you need is an editor. I mean it. It is just a matter of time anyway. Just keep on writing. I know one day they will come looking for you. I know a thing or two and I know what I am talking about. You reinvent yourself all the time. And you are original.
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Ashley
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Posted on 09-27-06 4:39
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Its something like dont-turn-off-your-computer-yet. Starts with pretty simple stuffs, but deeper it goes, decidedly weirder it gets, and at the end, manage to explain readers how it was a supposed confrontation between life and death. Must Read! Usually, I go through pieces like this pretty quickly, but this one was so good I ploughed through it in about an hour. Sum-off has out-done himself with this epic sweep. I couldn't put it down! Ashley!
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