I am just throwing it out there coz its killing me to keep this to myself...as I am really not sure wat to do next. Here is the story...my bf whom I had been dating for almost three and a half years proposed last night and I didnt say 'yes' or 'no'. I dont know what to think of it now. Did I scare him off by my non-response? Well, I said..ask me again, later. What was I thinking? GRRR. He said he will ask again, for sure and that he loved me and he went back to his place.

The thing is I always wanted to marry him and we both had started making plans for it, so the proposal didnt come out of the blue..It was expected and he knew that I would say 'yes' too. Still...when the moment came, I think I messed up big time. I know he will ask again and that not my worry, I am just wondering you guys think I let him down. I talked to one of my guy friends and he said that a guy would never want to hear 'ask later' no matter how committed we are. That got me wondering.

He is not a Nepali and its been a big issue for my family and his. They have practically given up and left it up to us to decide where we want to go from here. So we decided we will stick with each other and hope that the family comes around. My family is visiting me right now and had couple of relatives too. My bf was invited over for dinner and things was all well until the details of the wedding came up. He said he will do everything according to Nepali rituals but then the conversation blew out of proportions. No bad words exchanged...but it was very heated, my bf keeping quiet most of the time. After couple of hours of 'go ahead marry him, no dont marry him, he is not a nepali, i hope you are happy, how can you leave us? etc etc' he asked me to step out of the house for a minute. I did...and he got down to one knee and asked me to marry him. I was already in tears for last two hours or so....and I told him that I was just in a state to accept a proposal at this minute. I also said that there is no doubt about me saying a yes, I just thought we could do it when I was in a good emotional state. He agreed and left after saying bye to everyone. Thats the Ramayan version of my life.

So, you think I shouldnt have responded that way? What would it do a guy's ego? Or was the reaction appropriate given the circumstances? I talked to him today and he seemed happy....but guys and their feelings have always been a mystery to me.

Help me clear out my head!!

another DOKA.

oh yeh sha ri dost ho, mein fesha li ya. pheri khabi shay pyar no gor nuin la.
pheri khabi dil lorkhi kho duila.

DOKA

Where is this guy from?

Does it really matter? he is a hindu.

must be dhoti.

Ok guys, before the topic goes out of control..lets not make it a race or nationality issue. I am asking your input on the issue posted above. Feel free to chyme in.

Indian Dhoti? I heared that nepali girls go for indian and paki guys. It seems true.
Date garne biha garna daraune?
Three and half year?
How many time did you have S*X?

Dilip Bro,
Great Guess. Looks like you have changed a lot lately haven't you?

Umm...Nevermind..thanks for taking time to respond street boy. If I was asking if I should be marrying or not, then maybe your response would have sounded appropriate, you obviously didnt read my post. Thanks anyway!

Looks like Sajha is the place where you can resolve all your personal,businees or whatever issue you have...

A girl dated with a boy for almost 4 years...Both already started talikg about theri marriage and now she is asking here before she is deciding her life partner...

Wow..what a great place it is...

VIN NO check Sajha
need to find BF Sajha
Need to find GF Sajha
looking for old friend reunion Sajha
Political debate Sajha

....list is long

And finally,to take decision for your mate,seeking advice from Sajha...

Looks like..we can build expert system utilizing knowledge base of all players of Sajha...

Good luck guys...refresh sajha and find solution of evrything even for your homework...
writing essay in liberty????


GF finf

Hi Nanu, I do see your point but besides the long list of things you have listed, what else do you think this board is for? I didnt see any warning or clause about what can or cannot be discussed...one of the plus points of forums like this. Don't you think its kind not to say anything at all if you dont have to contribute anything?

Just my humble opinion..you sound like a nice person from your other threads..maybe you are getting bored of the forum these days?

Streetboy,
Do you host Howard stern show in nepal or sometimes here in US when he goes on Vacation.

Maybe I didnt frame my questions properly as two of the fellow posters have assumed that I am asking IF i should marry this person or not. Isnt that what 'you are asking if you want to marry him or not' mean?
That is far away from my question. There is no doubt about the marriage but the formal proposal might not have gone 'by the books'. And as I was having hard time determining if I let him down for good....I was wondering if you guys/girls could say anything about it.

Bostongirl, reaction to that kind of thing is personal. People will react to it differently depending on lots of things. In this case you are the only one who understands the whole situation and you can probably make a better guess than any of us combined.

Another person that you could ask is the guy. If you've been together for 3.5 yrs then I'm sure you should be comfortable enough to discuss things like this.

Mike
I have no idea about the show.
That Boston girl is asking about the suggestion to who she is dating for three and half year. I guess she is mature to decide yourself.

Hi Bostongirl!

You seem to be quite in a dilemma and I pray for those clouds to clear in no time.

You said:
"He is not a Nepali and its been a big issue for my family and his."
--Is your family looking for a son-in-law whose name sounds like 'Ram bahadur Nepali' or 'Shyam Lal Biswokarma' or with names along that line.
Hehe! just kidding.
Jokes apart, the fourth caste in the Hindu society have been downtrodden since the reign of Jayasthiti Malla...

It's a plus at last he has the same religious background as yours. But your family expected you to couple up with a Nepalese,right? So here I am. Just kidding again.

Family members are irreplaceable and while a husband is replaceable. On the contrary, a supporting family is one who respects your choice and does everything to make you happy in the long run.

You said:
"Did I scare him off by my non-response? Well, I said..ask me again, later."
--'Justice delayed is justice denied'. But does that apply in your current situation? I am not sure. You got to make up your mind;sooner the better.

You wrote:
" how can you leave us? etc etc' "
That is pretty threatening. My interpretation is links will be cut off if you marry that dude. But if you happen to be the only child (monopolistic advantage), there is high probability your parents will yield to you quicker and with more intensity.

A disclaimer so that you won't sue me if my advice has bad side-effects:Hehe! I have been neither married nor been a marriage counselor so as to give you a practical or wise advice. But these are some of the things I can think of.

Good luck to you miss. I hope to you meet you on Sajha as a Mrs Bostongirl soon. :)

Well let me climb the lecture podium and impart some wisdom ;-)

1. The fact that you hesitated MIGHT mean there is a part of you who does not want to marry this guy. Give it a thought.

2. If you think you are sure that this is the guy you want to spend rest of your life with, then what is holding you on calling him and asking him to marry you? Do you HAVE to wait for him to propose? Again?

If I were him, I would definitely be having second thoughts. You court someone for 4 years, think you know her inside out, are willing to get down on a knee despite all the negativities of the family, and what happens? The girl gives typical Nepali Bureaucrat's "bholi aaunus" when asked to make a decision that should be easiest in life.

Girl, if you love him, before the crack on your relationship becomes Grand Canyon, run after him and yell YES, NOW!!!!!!

Lol TM...although had been flustered all day with wat happened last night, you put a smile on my face :-) Thanks!
I think both of our parents will turn around eventually (monopolistic advantage, your term applies to both of us) but we have had a long fight, so we just thought its better to do wats gonna make us happy at this point.

You really hit me hard with 'justice delayed is justice denied'...I had made up my mind the minute before and after he asked (answer was yes) but not at the moment. He says he understands why I said that and he will ask again....I think I should just put this episode to rest for now before I go crazy over-thinking.

Boston Girl,it is my apology if i knowingly or unknowingly hurt you...see.. You already started getting lots of reaction which hurt you and your relationship...So What I was trying to convey is:

1) You are the one who should be a person to decide on such a matter...
2) If you love him,go and dial the number and say yes for his propossal(Your parents will understand you later on...)

And Sajha is very good sources for lots of other issues but I don't think this thread will help you to answer your querries in this matter...It is matter of your heart and i understand you are genius and mature enough to take decision...

Do not get confused with lots of inputs here...

yeh two brains are better than one but it is not true always...No other people can represent your heart and feelings,you are the one who should decide..

Good luck

Riten, can I wait till the weekend? I have barely slept in last month or so.