enjoy.......... reading


The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 marriage has 77777 problems.
So beware of glance!


Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.


Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"

Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom"


Delivered:

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to
his phone and he started dancing.

The report said, "DELIVERED".


Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"

Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOL...what a selfish idiot. ;)))))))

Lol @ Ardent :o) The Liar and Sardar ji's (gotta luv sardar ji's jokes) joke was funny.

Ok one from me:

Why in middle east countires they have Mc Donnald's, Burger King, Pizza hut, Friendly's but instead of TGI-Friday they have TAI-Friday.......................

............................... *?*............................

Thank Allah it's Friday ;o)

reminds me of 'pulp fiction'. What do the french call a quarter pounder with cheese??? A royale with cheese.....because they use metric system.

reminds me of 'pulp fiction'. What do the french call a quarter pounder with cheese??? A royale with cheese.....because they use metric system.

An Asian man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same Asian man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. The Asian man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen"

The clerk replies, "Fluctuations." As the Asian man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and angrily says, "Fluck you Amelicans, too!"

Some more....

Comparision

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day ... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ..........."What?"

Arguement

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time". The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful ; so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid ;so I would be attracted to you!

Few jokes from my pockets hehehehehe.... enjoy it with coffee...

SARDAR JOKES .....THANKS TO PANJAB

Sardar: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..


A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge
Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in
Punjab!.


A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a
women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.


Sardar had twins; he named them Tin Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED&RETIRED!


A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a
funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"


Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into
future
tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".


Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree,
sits
on the branch
regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as
branch manager."


Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth................. WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be
light"



SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I
SARDAR,SHE

SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....


One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his
college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...

Some jokes of Sardarrrrrrrrrrrs!!!!

Sardarji is filling up a job application. He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED. After much thought he writes: Yes.

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie? Because below 18 was not allowed.

Sardarji goes to see The Jurassic Park.
When the Dinosaurs start approaching he cowers in his seat.
His friend asks him,"Kyun Sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyun lag raha hai? Cinema hi to hai."
Sardarji replies, "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,pata hai ki cinema hai,
lekin woh to janwar hai, usko kya pata."

Sardar Garbhajan singh went for his usual morning walk. At one junction he found a crowd. One man holding a syringe on one hand and the famous actress on the other hand. He threatens to inject the liquid which contain AIDS virus in to her body unless he is given a ransom of 10 corers of Rupees . Police men are helplessly watching. At this moment Garbachen rushed to the man and has a fight, he dropped the syringe, Police men arrested him. On the next day a ceremony is conducted to reward Garbachen. The chief guest CM of punjab while giving away the reward asked to the Garbachen " We are proud of you How did you show that much of courage even if you are aware of AIDS ?" Garbachen said "Sir I always wear a condom to avoid AIDS"

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,
WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"
Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."
Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

Why does sardarji brings binocular in his own marriage?
To see his far reletavies.


How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways?? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !!!!!!!!

One day a Sardarji talking with his friend....... Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child. Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.

heheheheehhe..ARDENT...dill khuus huwa...really loved the jokes yaar..Pahile Swati thapajyu le ramro joke post garnuhunthyo....aabo Ardi kopaalo..nice works...keepit going..made my day man..:)

Hasayo yaar bro le pani, bihana bihana mood fresh bhayo, yaar.

An Asian man walks into a New York Currency Exchange with 2000 yen. He receives $72.00 in American currency. The following week, the same Asian man walks into the same currency exchange. He again exchanges 2000 yen. This time, he receives $66.00 in American currency. The Asian man doesn't understand why he received less money, so he asks the clerk, "Why less money when same 2000 yen"

The clerk replies, "Fluctuations."(fu@k you Asian) As the Asian man prepares to leave, he turns, looks at the clerk and angrily says, "Fluck you Amelicans, too!"
Great joke...

HAHAHAHA READ THIS!!!!


A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Melbourne. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a devon sandwich!!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen Darlin, I ain't horny, I'm homesick."

Look at it for a while...

Some short jokes of Sardarrrrrrs....got to love these Sardarrrrrss...he he he

What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you? Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears? He was trying to hold on to a thought.

Why does Sardarji work seven days a week? So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes? He always forget the recipe.

How did Sardarji try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.

How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the Second 1 on the dial.


"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

Hear about the Sardar that got an AM radio?
It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.

Some jokes of the funny pair "Santa and Banta"......he he he

Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out.
His friends asked him how he had fared. He replied, "Exam was okay, except for the past tense of 'think'. I thought, thought, thought and at last, I wrote 'thunk'!"

Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
His friend Santa Singh asked him, "Why, are you wearing two jackets?".
"Because,? said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two coats."

After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

Santa was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.
On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.
Then Banta asked Santa why he kept painting less each day, he replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."

Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion' Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?' Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!' Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh. Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed..... Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!


Santa told Banta, "I bet that India would win against Pakistan and lost Rs 1,000." Banta exclaimed: "Yaar, you bet Rs 1,000 for a single match?" Santa replied:
"Nahi yaar, I bet Rs 500 on that match." Banta asked: "So, what happened to the other Rs 500?" Santa repied: "Chad yaar, I bet on the highlights too."

Ardent Wrote:


That was a long ago. Now sardars found out that the birds actually fly away.

Q: How do sardars kill Birds today?
The hold the bird tight and throw themselves off of the cliff.

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Got this from my friend, just wanted to share. lol
Type Of Girls

HARD-DISK Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

WINDOWS Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live
without her.

SCREENSAVER Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

INTERNET Girls:
Difficult to a! ccess.

SERVER Girls:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.

E-MAIL Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense. (Seewaani, u belong to this grp)

VIRUS Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she
comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to
uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall
her you will lose everything........

Ok here goes Santa and Banta joke.

Banta Singh and Santa Singh got tired with the mobile communication and decided to use the conventional method of communication. That is to use the pigeons to send messages. One day Santa sends his pigeon. When the pigeon reached Banta, it was with out any message.

Angrily, Banta picks up his mobile and calls and asks Santa "what is this - a joke? The pigeon is without any message."

Guess what Santa says???


"Idiot, that was a missed call!!"

HHEHE that was funny...sent as chain mails to few friends. ;)

Here goes:

Ok this is a feminist type joke....I heard it and thought it was cute:

Why is marriage like a deck of cards?
You need a heart to fall in love with him
you need a diamond to marry him
you need a club to bash his head in
and you need a spade to burry him