I copy pasted it from somewhere;)



Prof. Bihari ( Does not know English) See how & what he
>>>speaks....
>>>
>>># Inside the Class :
>>>* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
>>>* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
>>>* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
>>>* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the
>>>corridor
>>>* You, meet me behind the class. ( meaning AFTER the class ..
>>>* Both of u three, get out of the class.
>>>* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my
>>>nose today...
>>>* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
>>>* Take 5 cm wire of any length....
>>>
>>># About his family :
>>> ----------------
>>>* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
>>>* My long sister was boiling in water so I send her to hospital.
>>>
>>># At the ground :
>>>-------------
>>>* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
>>>* There is no wind in the balloon.
>>>
>>># To a boy, angrily :
>>>-----------------
>>>
>>>* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?
>>>
>>>
>>># Giving a punishment :
>>>-------------------
>>>* You, rotate the ground four times...
>>>* You, go and under-stand the tree...
>>>* You three of you, stand together separately.
>>>* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)
>>>
>>>
>>># Sir at his best :
>>>---------------
>>>Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened
>>>to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see
>>>them. So the next day at school... ( to that boy ) - " Yesterday I
>>>saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>nice english
>>>
>>

Real cool, had a good laugh after a long time.

>>>* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)


This my favorite.

This joke was probably taken from a real life experience at St. Xavier's with Mr. Thakur. I'm pretty sure.

it is definately 100% Thakur sir and 25% jha sir.

Thakur 1-liner:

Go to the class without moving! (Na chalikana class ma jau).

My optional math teacher said once.

Today is how how day. (Aja kasto kasto din cha)

"IT WAS SINGH SIR BIRTHDAY"

SAMIR(STUDENT) SAID: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR!

SINGH SIR: THANKYOU - SAME TO YOU .

Hey

How do you know about samir and singh sir. You must have heard it from a CSKM student because this had happened when I was there.

CSKM................

forgive my ignorance, but what is CSKM ?

some of the qutes reminds me of our frog sir Hari Thapaliya(HT) when I was in st. xaviers campus.
"I will throw the window out of you"
"Both of you three come here"

hey any of you there remember these things

oh yes, specially when he would say.." This frog, it's buccopharengeal cavity..." the same frog used to be in his example through out the year. I used to to have a hard time controlling my giggles when he used to stare at me for like 10 seconds at the end of his statement. Fortunately i he never noticed me giggling at him. I feel sorry for my friend who couldn't stop bursting into laughter at his "buccopharengeal..."and getting his ass busted the very last day of class.

I hope you are not reading this posting, sir :) BTW I can still take your stare for half a minute or so. :):)

You think only Bihari Professors have that kind of English?
Here I got few one liners from all over the world .. (copied and pasted here...)

Signs seen around the World
----------------------------
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

In a Pumwani maternity ward:
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:
TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

good joke hmmm.I enjoyed it very much.

Dont forget the murphy's laws:
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
Any given program costs more and takes longer each time it is run.
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
Every non- trivial program has at least one bug
Corollary 1 - A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
Corollary 2 - At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.
Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.
Corollary - A subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem

www.murphys-laws.com

Also,
Love Laws:

All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.
Sent by Van Den Bossche Jochen
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Nice guys (girls) finish last.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

no one but mr.Thakur sir.(st xaviers school) who speaks english without following teh grammer rules.


once in the class room yelling at few me and my friends.............hey ! u sitting at the front of the last .dont u have too many brains.....if u want to talk ...talk soon afte the ring bells!! in class i talk u learn.....and after a while ...i cant hear u talkin(reading )....hungry boy!!!

One of the greatest Murphy's Law is:
"Murphy's Law was not written by Murphy.It was written by another guy called Murphy".

A 100 dollar picture tube will always save a one dollar fuse by blowing itself first.

its actually "go to the lab without any movement"

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One of my Bihari teacher used to say to habitual late coming friends:

"Tomorrow Late Today Late When See Then Late
Come and Disturb in the Center of class
Meet me Behind the class!"

(Kal Der Aaj Der Jab Dekho Tab Der, Class Ke Beech Mein Disturb Karte Ho, Class Ke Baad Mujhase Milna)