enjoy.......... reading


The Equation:

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 marriage has 77777 problems.
So beware of glance!


Plan For Future:

Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.


Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"

Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom"


Delivered:

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to
his phone and he started dancing.

The report said, "DELIVERED".


Three Feelings:

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

He he he he ...Indisguise ji...great dialogues...And SRISTI i am romantic re ...wow ...he he he he...La ta time for jokes again hai ta indisguise ji ...he he he ...

A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.
The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused,
why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I can
drink the fluid." Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring
the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the
sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the japanese asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well,when I shall feel the need to get some breeze in this summer all have to do is roll down the window."


A Sardarjee reported for his University final examination which consists of
"yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at
the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes
his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the
answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all
done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few
minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The
moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the
exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers

Indisguise ji ...i want some jokes from you too ...he he he

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;


Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to
give him all their burnt out light bulbs? He just
bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.


Then there was the 85 year old woman who found her husband in bed with another woman. She was so enraged that she dragged him to the balcony of their high-rise apartment and pushed him to his death. When she appeared in court, the judge asked if she had anything to say in her own defence."Well Your Honour," she replied, "I figured if at 92 he he could make love, he could fly too."

Ok....after april fool.........here are some humours on LALOO PRASAD YADAV, the bihari leader of India...he he he he



Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Parveez Mushraf.They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement. "Parveez bhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Parveez Mushraf comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Parveez bhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to Parveez bhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!")



Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...




Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"




At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER,SINGLE." And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."



After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite Sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it," Laloo brags. "Five months? That's too long." the friend exclaims. "You are a fool," Laloo replies."Read the box, It says 5-7 years."

indi baba;
nice one !!.....ITS TIME FOR JOKE AGAIN.
hahhahaha

One more bout laloo.
Once laloo went to white house, will obviously bill clinton. He was called to learn english in united states. White house had made special arrangements for Laloo to learn english.
...............now laloo was in white house learning english. Laloo was so busy that he could not make phone call to his home for months. Rawadi devi was very much worried for him, she was more scared because of the Monika and bill story and never wanted Laloo to come with another rakhail. So, very much worried she called white house:
Rawadi devi: Hello, hum bihar se bol rahi huun.
White house: Who's this ?
Rawadi deve: Hum, Rawadi devi.
White house: Arey, Rawadi bhaabi, namaskar, Hum BILLUWA bol raha hum. Lallo bhai bade maje mai hai.

He he he he .......that was very funny...harke dai ...great

Wher are ARD and Sristi....Think they have eloped..hahahahahahahaha..just in jest hai...well mero tarfa baat yeuta joke:

Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy, guess what? Yesterday, I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and then Daddy got on top of her and -"
The mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word! Wait until your father gets home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."
Father comes home and the wife tells him that she's leaving him. "But why?" he croaks. "Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy just what you told me." "Well," said
little Johnny, "I was playing in your closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and Daddy got on top of her..." "...and they did just what you did last week, Mommy, with Uncle Bob".

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Think these little johny jokes are not that offensive..I have tons of them...one more...:
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God." The teacher
praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love." "That is so beautiful,
Billy", praises the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this..Little Johnny,
which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?"
Little Johnny says, "Your feet." The teacher (relieved) asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.. He replied, "Well, I was walking past
my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she was shouting, 'Oh God, I'm coming!'"

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enjoy another lil' Johnny joke

Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.



When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet an hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.

Can he see?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be shit outta luck if he needed glasses."

Ok here is some humours on bollywood movies...he he he ...

Bollywood Movies and their meaning to software professionals and US:

Sajan Chale Sasural : Computer professional coming to US.

1942 a Love story : Sticking to one company for more than a year.

Dil to Pagal Hai : Staying elsewhere, dreaming of US.

Sapnay : Green card.

Sadma : Rejected H-1(B) Visa.

Deewana Mastana : Project Manager - Team Leader.

Beta : Home Phone bill exceeding $400pm.

Rakhwala : Project Manager.

Mr. Bechara : Computer professional in Singapore.

Zanjeer : Company bond.

Himmatwala : Breaking company bond.

Tohfa : H-4 Visa for your Wife.

Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman : Once you are in US.

Chaudhvin ka Chand : Assembly programmer.

Sahib Bibi aur Ghulam : Client, your company and you.

Shehanshah : Bill Gates.

Admi Sadak Ka : Jumping from company to company.

Dayawan : Company paying full salary in bench

Anari : Year2000 programmer.

Phool Aur Kaanten : Microsoft - IBM.

Aaj Ka Gunda Raaj : Microsoft Monopoly in IT market.

Hairaan : Non-Computer professionals on seeing computer professional's pay-check.

Hum Aapke Hain Koun : Illegal Immigrants in US

Aur Pyar Ho Gaya : After staying in US for a Year.

Daud : Coming to US.

Rangeela : After getting Green Card.

Bahaar Aane Tak : Time period between Green Card and Citizenship.

Farz : Going to native country every year.

Pyaasa : Longing for a Visa.

Agneepath : Going to Consulate for getting a Visa.

Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar : After coming from consulate with a Visa.

Bud Naseeb : Not getting a Visa

Elan-E-Jung : Asking for increment

Gupt : Agreement of Programmer with number of consultants

Zakmee : After getting rejected twice for a Visa.

Swarg Se Sundar : on landing in US.

Ab Kya Hoga? : Applied for Green Card too late.

Kranti : Increase H-1 quota.

Main Khiladi Tu Anari : You and Immigration Officer

हेहेहेहेहे। खितितितिति
आर्डि किन बि जी भएको बल्ल पो थाहा पाएँ रे क्या।
ल ल अरु नि जावस् ब्रो,
निर्माण

Some humours...he he he


Once upon a time, a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction. This event really harrased the social nature of sardarji and then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction . While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked "Sardarji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"



"I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor."
"Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it?" "Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over."


An accountant, a lawyer, and a cowboy were standing side-by-side using the urinal. The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands... clear up to his elbows... he used about 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan, and they taught us to be clean."

The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of Colorado, and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The cowboy zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from the University of Nebraska, and they taught us not to piss on our hands."


Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith" the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith "I knew I could count on you!

Some jokes on the famous Bollywood scenes ...Ajit's scenes..he he he

Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
Ajeet: Repeater.


Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
Ajeet: Peter! Is ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein ticket dete-dete thak jayega
Peter: Boss is ka kya karen ?
Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !


Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek (headache) ho raha hai.
Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padega.!


Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Raabert is worried !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me OUT likh do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!


Scene: Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
Ajeet: Maikal, Is ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara rang laga do.
Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he....


Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says... Nomore !


Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai


Ajeet: Raabert, India aur west indies ke Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
Raabert: Yes Boss.
Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai ......



Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
Ajeet: Maikal (Michael), woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai. Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !

हाहाहाहाहाहा
माइकल आया साइकिल ले के, माल ले जाए क्या।
हाहाहाहाहाहा

Want to laugh??? Then laugh ...he he he he

Two sardarjis (Prajees) were friends. They used to go together in office by bus.
One day one of them was waiting for the other at the bus stop.
Suddenly the other one came on a BIKE (Hero Honda).
First one asked "waa! Prajee!! Kammal ho gaya. Kiska bike Leke aayya?
Second one told " Arre ! Lottery Lag Gayi.
First one said " Mujhe batao yaar, phir mein bhi loonga "He started telling.... "Arre yesterday late night I was coming from a friend's home.
It was so late that I couldn't catch any bus, auto. After some time one BIKE was coming.
So I asked for lift. That person asked me "where do u want to go?"I told, "wherever u want." by that time I recognised that THE BIKE WALA was a girl not boy.
She drove fast and stopped at an ultra SUNSAN JAGAHA. She put off her helmet first. And then clothes lastly.
She was totally NAKED..
Then she told " Le! tujhe jo mangta hai woh le le"
I took the BIKE and ran away.
First Sardarji said "Arre! Accha Kiya Yaar.. ! nahi to ladkiyon ke kapde apne kis kaamke?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stupid Questions with Smart Answers:

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".

hahahahahahaha,

dami cha ardent bro. Nice to start sunday with humor.

keep it coming.

Let's laugh..he he he

Once a pakistani guy visited india. While he was visiting the Bihar state, he was spotted by an american Journalist for an interview on India and it's culture thinking that he was an indian. The pakistani guy thought that this is the time to take revenge and thus pretended himself to be an indian.

Q Why do indian women wear red dots on their foreheads?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant-ride sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is is a lot of hard work.

Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A. I prefer it to coming naked.

Q. How do you celebrate Thanksgiving in India?
A:By roasting an American....

The journalist got cared and said ...ok finally one question.....

Q: One thing that your rivalry neighbouring country pakistan don't have ?
A:Laloo Prasad Yadav

The american journalist later published the interview saying what a stupid indians are. That report created a HULCHUL and a cabinet meeting was called for. Most of the ministers argued that it must be a pakistani spy who gave that interview. All of sudden Laloo speaks "How dare you call him a pakistani spy, he is an indian...just read at the last portion of interview ; he says pakistan don't have Laloo Prasad Yadav and don't forget the interview was taken in bihar." !!!

Ok today i decided to write a love letter to my g.f. She is crazy about bollywood movies. So i thought why not to introduce those bollywood movies in my love letter. So Friends don't laugh by reading my love letter...though i don't mind even if you laugh...he he ...ok here goes my love letter:

Piya Ka Ghar Choukee No. 11
Teesri Manzil
China Town
Bombay

Date: Nau Do Gyarah

My Dear 'Anamica':

You must be surprised to receive this 'Prem Patra' from me. Let me make my 'Pahechan' to you as 'Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge'. Though I am an 'Awaara', I am also your 'Deewana'. I am making you a 'Prarthna' to enter my 'Zindagi' as a 'Priyatama'. Even though I do not have any 'Sambandh' with you, I still consider you as my 'Dream Girl' with 'Lal Dupatta Malmal Ka'. There are only 'Do Raaste' left for me. One is to get your love by 'Tyag' or to go the 'Rangeela' way. Wouldn't you like to be 'Mere Jeevan Saathi' as you are 'Lakhon Mein Ek'? I also hope that you will 'Guide' me in 'Bahar' as we are made for 'Ek Duje Ke Liye'. We will live in 'Naya Zamana' where we will have a 'Suhana Safar'. In this 'Himalay Ki God Mein', our 'Bandhan' is going to be tied with 'Preet Ki Dor'. I hope that we will have nothing but 'Anand' in 'Ye Dillagi'. Aren't you bored of 'Akele Hum Akele Tum' life? Let this 'Baazigar' be your 'Boy Friend' and we start 'Pehli Mohabbat'. This 'Chahat' is going to lead to a 'Milan' where you are going to call me everyday for 'Aao Pyar Karen'. Now, 'Phir Kab Miloge' as 'Tumse Accha Kaun Hein'? ?Kuch kuch hota hain? when I think about you, ?dil to paagal hai? what can I do?? As you know my love is 'Himalay Se Uncha' and hopefully our 'Mulakat' will be 'An Evening in Paris'.

Yours Prem Pujari,
Ardent

राम्रो छ!!! ल पास तिमि प्रेम परिक्षामा। त्यहाँ फेरी मेरी बैनिलाइ धोका दिने होइन नि।;०)...फेरि मेरी मिलिसिया पठाम्ला जन कार्बाही गर्न रे क्या!!!!
निर्माण