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Posted on 06-29-04 2:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Two married blokes are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and says "AND WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?"
His mate looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's butt and say, 'How about a blow job?' and she's always sound asleep"

 
Posted on 06-29-04 4:43 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wahahaa!!

That was a good un prince...!! I think u need to be crowned King of Adult Jokes! Wat say u? ;op

Domi
 
Posted on 06-29-04 11:52 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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topahni!!....
mwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!! :oD...hehe nice to see u in this kinda thread...well mero topahni ta well hehe ur one of a kind ni ;o)...

anyways POD hehe..cheers...always making sure the adult gets satisfied..:oP...and well i did kinda say i will try to be a bit more active..in u know humour esp adult ko lai..:oP so here am...growing older all the time...looking older all the time..feeling younger in my mind ;o) hehe just couldnt stop meself from tyoing that lyrics hehe...life ni abo masti...dherai song ahhying ;o)...

ok here are some adult jokes hehe..typing it right out from some adult mags ;o)(dyam am i free or what??:oP)..cant get more fresher than that hoina??:oP...dun ask me which mag..or where i got it from..dherai reveal garnu hunna not good...baacha haru...too comes to sajha :oP...hehe

(i dun think i will be type all so hehe jus the ones i think is good hehe..and well if u read them hehe and well seems too familiar..guess u read tht mag too ;o) cheers..some are really recycled i guess so hehe maybe the mag isnt the only place..u could have read them..but hehe if it was from the mag..dun forget acknowledge it ;o)..just well smile ur smile ni...thats all..;o)..)


A bloke called his boss one Monday morning and said...

"hey mate, I cant come into work today.Ive got a mongrel migrane.Im crook in the guts and Ive f**ked me back."

the noss, nkowing he was understaffed, had a suggestion:
"Listen, mate-I really need y9ou to work today. But when i feel sick like that. I go to me wife and ask her for sex. Yhat makes me feel a lot better and i can go to work. You should try that."

An hour later, the sick bloke called his boss back.
"Mate, i feel terrific," said the bloke to his boss, "and ur missus is a cracker of a root too."

****************************************************

After a few turbelent, conflict-filled years of marriage, a young couple decided the only way to save the marriage was to try counselling.

But the moment they walked into the counsellor's office, the wife started rattling on about the things her husband did wrong,talking so loud and so fast neither the man or the counsellor could get a word edgewise.

Finally, the counsellor jumped out of his seat, ran across the room, grabbed the wife by the shoulders and kissed her passionately for at least 3 minutes. The woman was stunned into silence and her husband was pretty impressed too.

"See that?" asked the counsellor.
"To save your marriage, your wife needs that sort of passionate encounter at least a couple of times a week,"he explained.

"Well...alright then,"said the husband.
"I can bring her in Tuesdays and Thursdays, if that fits in your schedule."

****************************************************************

A PISS-HEAD got up from his table and headed for the dunny. A couple of minutes later, a loud scream came from the toilet. Seconds after that, another blood-curding cry was heard and all the pub patrons went quiet.

The bar bloke yelled:"Oi!Whats that din for?Youre scaring the locals."

"im sitting here on the shitter," the drunk replied, "'and every time i flush, something comes up and squeezes the f**k out of me balls."

The bar bloke opened the dunny door, took one look at the piss-head and started laughin.

"You drongo!Youre sitting on the mop buket!!"

*****************************************************************

Bill was driving into the town and found Tim, a barman at his local pub, lying on the side of the road in tears.

"Hey, Tim!" Bill yelled as he pulled up. "Whats wrong?"

Wiping his rears, Tim moaned, "Look at me new Holden!" and pointed to a crashed car down the street, wrapped round a tree trunk.

"Shit, mate, dont cry. Get the insurance and buy another car."

"Take a look inside the car, mate!" Tim sobbed.

After lookin, Bill consoled him by saying, "Aw, mate dont worry about it. You can always find another girfriend."

Tim looked at Bill through a veil of tears and wailed, "Look inside her fckin mouth!"

*************************************************************

ok thats it hehe..the rest of the jokes are quite lame hehe..chyaa waste of time buying such mags for jokes..:oP...(dun worry i got better ways of spending me $$ ;o)...)guess i browse thru the mag to see if there is anything more intersting...:oP
and just rememered!!!! i owe someone some club JOKES!!!!I rememebered!!!KUKURNI!!!! you BEWARE!!!!!hehe...

topahni...!Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh...*with a tongue traling* hehe..aduclt section mah alik adult act hunu paryo..:oP

have fun...:D

 


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