American dream’ turned sour
For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move!

By Bhumika Ghimire

Like thousands of students in Kathmandu, America was my escape from all the tough realities of life in Nepal-- pollution, social pressure, political turmoil and lack of opportunities. I never thought that living in a country where I don’t know anyone and where money stands over human relationships and emotions would be a bad idea. America had the charm and the appeal that never faded, no matter how many doubts I had they all seemed trivial in front of the tremendous opportunity America presented.

It has been two years since I arrived in the USA and all that American charm and glory seems far from the reality. I laugh at myself sometimes for believing that I had a reasonable chance to succeed here. I came with no money, no contacts, with just dreams and hope. I had a dream of becoming an IT consultant, earning decent amount of money so that I could bring my family here and yes, travel around the world. The dream is still alive but is far from being a reality.

For a year, I struggled to get my degree, working odd jobs, one of which was at an Indian restaurant. From 9:00 a. m. to 4:00 p. m. I used to attend college then from 5:00 p. m. to 10:00 p. m. I used to work. I don’t want to make it simple by saying that all this was hard. It was way beyond that, every day I used to remember my carefree days in Kathmandu. I had my parents taking care of everything. All I had to do was being nice and study hard.

Still I used to give them so much trouble, never listened to what they said. It was hard remembering those days during the long working hours, listening to all the remarks people at work made about my accent and my looks. Sometimes I used to question myself, why did I come here? To listen to all these remarks? I left my home, family, decent job and came here to work as a Server in a restaurant..? I used to comfort myself by saying that even if times now are tough, after I get my degree I will surely get a great job and things would be great.

I am laughing again at myself, because nearly a year after graduating top of my class, I am still struggling in between the odd jobs. The dream job I wished for is nowhere in sight, but my credit card bills are surely becoming mountain high. Now-a-days I have just stopped thinking about all the dreams I had when I came here, I just focus on getting by each day at a time. It seems much easier that way. Still you cannot run away from the reality or hide the facts. I consider myself as a failure, I do regret coming to America and not being able to accomplish anything.

But then now slowly I am learning to live with my failures. I volunteer at a local organization, work with people less fortunate than me and try to find a purpose among all the things that went wrong in my life. I am learning to believe this is a phase and it will pass.

For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move. Grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.

(A graduate of Schiller University, Florida, Ghimire is currently based in the US and writes on contemporary issues. Please send your comments to bhumika_g@yahoo.com)

Hello Bhumika,

I do not think you are a failure nor do I think you should return to Nepal. However, I do think you should be optimistic and look forward to your life ahead. Think about it, you are a graduate from American University, despite the fact that road ahead may not be paved with gold but opportunities are endless for you. Let me tell you my experience, it is not what you know it is who you know that lands you a well-paid job. Where to begin, start networking with successful people. You can find them at the charitable organizations like, rotary club, united way, humanitarian organization etc.
Do not underestimate yourself, if you are willing to accept lesser salaries, it shows lack of confidence. You have further questions ask me. I will reply in next thread

I feel sorry for you Bhumika.
Well, sure, even if you flip burgers at burger king, you do have a better life here than in Nepal, but compared to fellow Americans, you're not really successful. Furthermore, is living a Middle-Class life really an "American dream"? I don't think so, if you ask me. You need to be prosperous and successful, whatever that means. Got to do better than your parents and what not. Economists like Stiglitz believe that not everybody can be propserous. All I'm saying is that "American dream" is an urban myth, and you're not alone, Bhumika. "American dream" is a reality for only a handful of people. Most of us are just like you. There is very limited social mobility. If you're born poor, chances are you'll be poor the rest of you life.
That's the primary difference between republicans and democrats, in a way. Republicans think "American dream" is a possibility, while many democrats think it can be a possibility through incentives. Many liberals, however, feel that "American dream" doesn't even exist. This is a very controversial topic.

IndisGuise,

Your thinking is always alike. Are you my long lost brother in Cumbha ko mela? LoL. haha.

IndisGuise,

Sorry, What I meant was our thinking is always alike.

Happiness, satisfaction with life, is all relative; it all depends on the state of one's mind.
Just because one holds a good paying job and is living in US does not translate to a more fulfilled, and more happy life than that of a ricksaw driver of Thamel.

Simon11, it is Kumba ko mela hola.

I was wearing orange vest and purple kattu. Were you wearing yellow vest and hariyo kattu? If yes, we are brothers indeed. ;)

Heheee... mere bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii haha. aiight gtg for now Simon, got to get warm, kknow wot i mean? Howz party thing going?


Later,
IndisGuise:)

Bhumi, you choose a nice topic to write on. ya, after I read that article on NP NEWS that day, for a while, I thought to send comments/compliments in your email. I used to sent articles as you did. Therefore, I was interested. But , I didn't do so for no reason. The vary next day, Laura made you the sajha celebrity. That is very sweet of her though, right?

About your Article,you had potrayed the body of your writing well, however the article would have been more interesting and complete if you had explained your definition of American Dream and provide Suggestions to your readers. It was not very clear what you meant by "For all of you who want to leave Nepal, think before you make the move." Now look at your quoted sentenced. What kind of Move do you want them to make? Are you telling them to come or not to come to U.S or so?

As a columnist- writer, you know better than us (readers). I am positive we would be able to read more Professional Articles in near Future. Good Luck !


-BD


P.S. Sajha readers should remember this, if one puts his/her efforts in study, one would be able to get M.S in one yr. These academic yrs are very efficient timewise, if one takes course options which is 30 crds and work hard could get it.

~
Bhangli Damini,
"P.S. Sajha readers should remember this, if one puts his/her efforts in study, one would be able to get M.S in one yr. These academic yrs are very efficient timewise, if one takes course options which is 30 crds and work hard could get it"

I finished my MS in 3 semester. I don't see any way to finish in 2 semester as you told. As far as I know, if you take thesis option then you require 30 credit including 6 credit thesis otherwise you need to pass comp. exam which is not a joke. Thesis writing also is not so easy.....
I wish I had met you before to take advise to finish MS in 1 year....................

Cheers,

Yes, Bhumika, it may seem to you that your dreams are not fulfilled and are getting faded but you should color your dreams and ambitions with your enthusiasm, which I can see you have. You have achieved a lot since you have been here. It's takes time for you to get closer to your destiny. Life is a journey and not a destiny. The more you acheive, the more you want to get. It's very good that you compare yourself with someone who is better than you but at the same time try to see the people who have suffered more than you. It is all relative and try to move forward. You will definitely find yourself better than before.
All the best!

::Life is a journey and not a destiny::

Steven Tyler said otherwise.

Life's a journey not a destination.

Take a chill pill ya'll

soonche jasto hunna jeewan jasto bhogyo ustai huncha ...... some tara devi song.
pratikshya gara meri mayalu samayle manish lai kaha kaha puryaucha.......deepak kharel?
from my experience i will recommend nepali students to come to US for masters rather than undergrad. having said that there are advantages and disadvantages in both categories. but graduate students generally tend to incurr less debt and find a job easily after they are done in comparision to undergrads. but there could be/are exceptions just like anything else

I also had some comments as everybodyelse on Bhumika's article. However, I liked the way she answered and I praise that she came to admit her failures honestly.

What the heck is an American Dream anyway ?

Hey Bhumika,
I DID HAVE THE SAME THOUGHTS THOUGH UNEXPRESSED ABOUT THIS TOPIC.
Are you married?? If you are not, why don't we work together to make American dream happen??
I AM JUST GRADUATING THIS SEMESTER THOUGH. IF YOU ARE LOOKING WHO GRADUATED BEFORE YOU, I MIGHT NOT BE THE RIGHT PERSON.

THIS IS AN OPEN OFFER. LET ME KNOW.

PURUSH

AMERICAN DREAM

AMERICAN DREAM

AMERICAN DREAM

The greatest AMERICAN DREAM

Bhumika G writes:

"I left my home, family, decent job and came here to work as a Server in a restaurant..?"


Enjoyed reading the article, but

With this sort of middle-class Nepali attitude (see the quote above), with its overtones of obsessions about prestige and credentials and instant sucess, sorry, you WILL have a hard time in the US.

The American dream is NOT about seeing your job as a server in a restaurant, and then feeling (vaguely) embarrased about it, as though what you are doing is so beneath
you and then consider yourself some sort of a failure.

Once you go down the "seeing yourself as a failure" path, you will continue to spiral down all the more, and eventually will become a certified failure.

The American dream is all about having a relentlessly single-minded ambition/focus
that frames even this low-level server job as

a TEMPORARY stage in your life and
as the FIRST of MANY long steps

toward eventually owning your own business or doing whatever else that you want to do in and out of America.

Every overnight success, they say, takes about 20 years to be so!

And so, in America, as in life and elsewhere, more than credentials and talent (which are ONLY entry-tickets!), it's the attitude toward your work that CONTINUOUSLY defines your step-by-step professional success.

The winners have grit, the fire within, a burning desire to succeed no matter what.
The losers give up too easily.

Here's an article:

- http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20051017-000003.xml

Best wishes,

oohi
ashu

Good Point Ashu..
... If u view ur initial steps as failure .. you wont be able to succeed..
Thank about how to achieve the "American Dream", try to make a step with the attitue to achieve success... Its not easy.. else everyone in "America" would have had a success story! But it is not impossible...
in every ones success story there is a section where he/she struggles...

I can take my own example,.. I came from Nepal about 5 years ago as a student with.. similar American dream.. today.. i work for a one of the fortune 100 company.. I live in a decent size house and drive a decent car... but getting to this stage wasnt easy.. there were days when i cleaned dishes... cooked burgers.. mopped floors .. well guess what.. i thought of all those steps as a success step towards my personal development.. those days have tought me some important lessions in my life which is helping me succeed now!
My good Lucks are with you! ..
God Bless..